Wednesday, February 25, 2009

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

  • A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

  • A will is a dead giveaway.

  • Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

  • A backward poet writes inverse.

  • In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

  • If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  • The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

  • A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

  • You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

  • Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

  • He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

  • A calendar's days are numbered.

  • A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.

  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.

  • The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

  • When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.

  • Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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