84 Things a SysAdmin should never say...

1.    Uh-oh...

2.    Oh S***!

3.    What the heck?!?

4.    Go get your backup tape.  (You DO have a backup tape?)

5.    That's SOOOOO bizarre.

6.    Wow!!  Look at this...

7.    Hey!!  The Suns don't do this.

8.    Terminated?!?

9.    What software license?

10.  Well, it's doing SOMETHING...

11.  Wow...that seemed fast...

12.  I got a better job at Lockheed...

13.  Management says...

14.  Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.

15.  What do you mean that wasn't a copy?

16.  It didn't do that a minute ago...

17.  Where's the GUI on this thing?

18.  Damn, and I just bought that Coke...

19.  Where's the DIR command?

20.  The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.

21.  I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.

22.  What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?

23.  Do you smell something?

24.  What's that grinding sound?

25.  I have never seen it do THAT before...

26.  I don't think it should be doing that...

27.  I remember the last time I saw it do that...

28.  You might as well all go home early today...

29.  My leave starts tomorrow.

30.  Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)

31.  Hmm, maybe if I do this...

32.  Why is my "rm -r *" taking so long?"

33.  Hmmm, curious...

34.  Well, MY files were backed up.

35.  What do you mean you needed that directory?

36.  What do you mean /home was on that disk?  I unmounted it!

37.  Do you really need your home directory to do any work?

38.  I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.

39.  Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs.  Is that a problem to you?

40.  We're standardizing on AIX.

41.  Wonder what THIS command does?

42.  What did you say your (1)user name was...? ;-)

43.  You did WHAT to the floppy???

44.  Sorry, we deleted that package last week.

45.  NO!!!  Not THAT button!!!

46.  [looks at workstation] "Say, what version of DOS is this thing running?"

47.  YEEEHAA!!!  

48.  What a CRASH!!!

49.  What do you mean that could take down the whole network?

50.  What's this switch for anyway?

51.  Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does...

52.  Say, what does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?

53.  If I’d known it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.

54.  Was that YOUR directory?

55.  System coming down in 0 minutes...

56.  The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!

57.  Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick?  More importantly, did you print it out?

58.  The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?

59.  It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours.  (This said on a Monday afternoon.)

60.  I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip without tripping the breaker.

61.  What is all this I hear about static charges destroying computers?

62.  I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.

63.  Ummm....Didn't you say you turned it off?

64.  The network's down, but we're working on it.  Come back after dinner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline.)

65.  Oops!  Save your work, everyone!  FAST!!!

66.  Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.

67.  I hate it when that happens.

68.  Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?

69.  You can do this patch with the system up...

70.  What happens to a hard disk when you drop it?

71.  Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk...

72.  Hey, what does mkfs do?

73.  Where did you say those backup tapes were kept?

74.  ...and if we just swap these two disk controllers like this...

75.  Don't do that, it'll crash the sys...DAMN!

76.  What's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?

77.  Now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either...

78.  Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?

79.  I don't care what he says, I'm NOT having it on MY network.

80.  We don't support that.  We WON'T support that.

81.  ...and after I patched the microcode...

82.  You've got TECO.  What more do you want?

83.  We prefer not to change the root password, it's a nice easy one...

84.  Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...

My Yellow Bus

Or click here

Poetic Error Messages

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio.  Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asa Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been until now an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony.  For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."  The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

----------------

The Web site you seek

cannot be located but

countless more exist

-----------------

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

-----------------

ABORTED effort:

Close all that you have worked on.

You ask way too much.

------------------

Yesterday it worked

Today it is not working

Windows is like that.

-----------------

First snow, then silence.

This thousand dollar screen dies

so beautifully.

-----------------

With searching comes loss

and the presence of absence:

"My Novel" not found.

------------------

The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao, until

You bring fresh toner.

--------------------

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

--------------------

Stay the patient course

Of little worth is your ire

The network is down

-------------------

A crash reduces

your expensive computer

to a simple stone.

--------------------

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes, and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

--------------------

You step in the stream,

but the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

--------------------

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

--------------------

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

--------------------

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Baptism

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.  He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.  The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.  He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time.  He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again--but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he, pulls him up.  The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?

Bats in the Belfry

Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.

One said "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church.  I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."

Another said, "Yeah, me too.  I've got hundreds living in my belfry.  I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."

The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church.  I haven't seen one back since!!!"

Celibate

A new monk arrives at the monastery.  He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand.  He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts.  So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."  So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.  Hours go by and nobody sees him.  So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him.  Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying.  He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply, "The word is 'celebrate'".

Another blonde joke

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams, she pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says.  "Your finger is broken."

Seven extreme images

Funny bear video

A Physics Joke

A geneticist, a physiologist and a physicist were summoned to meet a wealthy racehorse magnate. He told them he would give a million dollars to the one who could accurately identify race-winning horses. After six months of hard work, they returned to present their results to the expectant millionaire.

The geneticist said, "I've looked into all the current genetic research, checked blood-lines going back decades, but there are just too many behavioral and environmental factors. I can't help."

The physiologist said, "I've looked at muscle mass, bone volume and density, and all the other factors I can think of, but the problem's too complex. There's just no guarantee of predicting a winner."

Finally, the physicist calmly walks up to the millionaire and gives him an index card. "Here you go," he says "I've found an equation that solves the problem for you."

"Wow," said the millionaire, "That's impressive...I'll get my checkbook."

"Great. But there's one thing you should know," said the physicist. "It only works for a spherically symmetric horse traveling in a vacuum."




Hat tip to Boing Boing

My anti-gun neighbor

Hat tip to DoublePlus Undead

The Difference Between Men and Women

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.

They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their.... .

"'Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....''

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car. But he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'

The American Way

A Chinese company and an American company decided to have a canoe
race on the Mississippi River. Both teams practiced long and hard to
reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Chinese won by a mile. The Americans, very
discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the
crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to
investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was
that the Chinese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the
American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a
large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too
many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

In order to improve the system, the Americans also required each
member of the team to write down their goals for team improv ement and
explain how they would meet those goals before next year's race. They
had quarterly meetings to discuss their progress.

To prevent another loss to the Chinese, the rowing team's management
structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area
steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1
person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings,
dinners and free pens for the rower.

There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other
equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Chinese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American
management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted
development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all
capital investments for new eq uipment.

The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses
and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.

The Meaning of a STOP Sign

Suppose you're traveling to work and you see a stop sign. What do you do? That depends on how you apply exegesis to the stop sign.

A postmodernist deconstructs the sign (i.e., he knocks it over with his car), thus ending forever the tyranny of the north-south traffic over the east-west traffic.

Similarly, a Marxist sees a stop sign as an instrument of class conflict. He concludes that the bourgeoisie use the north-south road and obstruct the progress of the workers on the east-west road.

A serious and educated Catholic believes that he cannot understand the stop sign apart from its interpretive community and their tradition. Observing that the interpretive community doesn't take it too seriously, he doesn't feel obligated to take it too seriously either.

An average Catholic (or Orthodox or Coptic or Anglican or Methodist or Presbyterian or whatever) doesn't bother to read the sign but he'll stop if the car in front of him does.

A fundamentalist, taking the text very literally, stops at the stop sign and then waits for it to tell him to go.

A preacher might look up "STOP" in his lexicons of English and discover that it can mean either:

• something which prevents motion, such as a plug for a drain, or a block of wood that prevents a door from closing;or
• a location where a train or bus lets off passengers.

The main point of his sermon the following Sunday on this text is: when you see a stop sign, it is a place where traffic is naturally clogged, so it is a good place to let off passengers from your car.

An Orthodox Jew does one of two things:

Take another route to work that doesn't have a stop sign so that he doesn't run the risk of disobeying the halachah, or

Stop at the stop sign, say "Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, king of the universe, who hast given us thy commandment to stop," wait 3 seconds according to his watch, and then proceed.

Incidentally, the Talmud has the following comments on this passage: R[abbi] Meir says: He who does not stop shall not live long. R. Hillel says: Cursed is he who does not count to three before proceeding. R. Simon ben Yudah says: Why three? Because the Holy One, blessed be He, gave us the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings. R. ben Isaac says: Because of the three patriarchs. R. Yehuda says: Why bless the Lord at a stop sign? Because it says: "Be still, and know that I am God."

R.Hezekiel says: When Jephthah returned from defeating the Ammonites,the Holy One, blessed be He, knew that a donkey would run out of the house and overtake his daughter; but Jephthah did not stop at the stop sign, and the donkey did not have time to come out. For this reason he saw his daughter first and lost her. Thus he was judged for his transgression at the stop sign. R. Gamaliel says: R. Hillel, when he was a baby, never spoke a word, though his parents tried to teach him by speaking and showing him the words on a scroll. One day his father was driving through town and did not stop at the sign. Young Hillel called out: "Stop, father!" In this way, he began reading and speaking at the same time. Thus it is written: "Out of the mouth of babes." R. ben Jacob says: Where did the stop sign come from? Out of the sky, for it is written: "Forever, O Lord, your word is fixed in the heavens." R. ben Nathan says: When were stop signs created? On the fourth day, for it is written: "let them serve as signs." But R. Yehoshua says: ... (continues for three more pages...)

A Haredi [ultra-Orthodox "black hat" Jew] does the same thing as an Orthodox Jew, except that he waits 10 seconds instead of 3. He also replaces his brake lights with 1000 watt searchlights and connects his horn so that it is activated whenever he touches the brake pedal.

A Breslover Hasidic Jew sees the sign and makes hisboddidus (a form of spontaneous personal prayer) saying: "Robono Shel Olam [Master of the Universe] -- here I am, traveling on the road in Your service, and I'm about to face who knows what danger at this intersection in my life. So please watch over me and help me to get through this stop sign safely." Then, "looking neither to left nor right" as Rebbe Nachman advises, he joyfully accepts the challenge, remains focused on his goal -- even if the car rolls backward for a moment -- then he hits the gas pedal and forges bravely forward, overcoming all obstacles which the yetzer hara [evil inclination] might put in his path.

A Lubovitcher Hasidic Jew stops at the sign and reads it very carefully in the light of the Rebbe's teachings. (In former times he would have used his cell phone to call Brooklyn and speak to the Rebbe personally for advice, but this is no longer possible, may the Rebbe rest in peace.) Next, he gets out of the car and sets up a roadside mitzvah mobile [outreach booth], taking this opportunity to ask other Jewish drivers who stop at the sign whether or not they have put on tefillin today [male ritual] or whether they light Shabbos candles [female ritual]. Having now settled there, he steadfastly refuses to give up a single inch of the land he occupies until Moschiach [the Jewish Messiah] comes.

A Reform Jew sees the stop sign, and coasts up to it while contemplating the question "Do I personally feel commanded to stop?" During this internal process he edges into the intersection and is hit from behind by a car driven by a secular Jew who ignored the sign completely.

A Conservative Jew reacts by calling his rabbi and asking him whether stopping at this sign is required by unanimous ruling of the Commission on Jewish Law or if there is a minority position. While waiting for the rabbi's answer he is ticketed by a policeman for obstructing traffic.

A Reconstructionist Jew, seeing the stop sign, might say: First, this sign is part of our evolving civilization and therefore I must honor it and stop. On the other hand, since its origins are in the past, I must assert that "the past has a vote and not a veto," and therefore I must study the issue carefully and decide if the argument "to stop" is spiritually, intellectually and culturally compelling enough to convince me to stop. If yes, I will vote with the past. If not, I will veto it. Finally, is there any way that I can re-value or transvalue the stop sign's message for our own time?

The Renewal-Movement-Jew meditates on whether the STOP sign applies in all kabbalistic Four Worlds [Body-Emotion- Mind-Spirit] or only in some of them, and if so which ones? Must he stop feeling? thinking? being? driving? Since he has stopped to breathe and meditate on this question, he is quite safe while he does so, barukh HaShem. [Praise G-d.]

A scholar from the Jesus seminar concludes that the passage "STOP" undoubtedly was never uttered by Jesus himself, but belongs entirely to stage III of the Gospel tradition, when the church was first confronted by traffic in its parking lot.

A NT scholar notices that there is no stop sign on Mark Street but there is one on Matthew and Luke streets, and concludes that the ones on Luke and Matthew streets are both copied from a sign on a completely hypothetical street called "Q". There is an excellent 300 page discussion of speculations on the origin of these stop signs and the differences between the stop signs on Matthew and Luke street in the scholar's commentary on the passage. There is an unfortunate omission in the commentary, however: the author apparently forgot to explain what the text means.

An OT scholar points out that there are a number of stylistic differences between the first and second half of the passage "STOP". For example, "ST" contains no enclosed areas and 5 line endings, whereas "OP" contains two enclosed areas and only one line termination. He concludes that the authorfor the second part is different from the author for the first part and probably lived hundreds of years later. Later scholars determine that the second half is itself actually written by two separate authors because of similar stylistic differences between the "O" and the "P".

Another prominent OT scholar notes in his commentary that the stop sign would fit better into the context three streets back. (Unfortunately, he neglected to explain why in his commentary.) Clearly it was moved to its present location by a later redactor. He thus exegetes the intersection as though the stop sign were not there.

Because of the difficulties in interpretation, another OT scholar amends the text, changing "T" to "H". "SHOP" is much easier to understand in context than "STOP" because of the multiplicity of stores in the area. The textual corruption probably occurred because "SHOP" is so similar to "STOP" on the sign several streets back that it is a natural mistake for a scribe to make. Thus the sign should be interpreted to announce the existence of a shopping area.

A feminist scholar notes that all commentary refers to "he" and concludes she is thus exempt, so she runs the sign and is killed.

A radical feminist, observing what happened to the first feminist, concludes this is a misogynist plot to get all feminists killed by inciting them to run stop signs. So she gets out of the car and stages a protest against the inherent sexism in all traffic signs.

An observant Orthodox Jewish woman concludes that she is not allowed to observe the mitzvah [commandment] of stopping because she is niddah [menstruant]. This is a dilemma, because the stop sign is located on the way to the mikvah [ritual purification pool]. She refers the dilemma to all the Rabbinical scholars, who shrug.

A feminist Jewish woman sees this as a sign from the Shekhinah [feminine aspect of G-d) that translates roughly "enough already...."

Hat tip to jokes on Failed Messiah

Evolution of the Teaching of Math Since the 1950's

1. Teaching Math In 1950s

   A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s

   A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s

   A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s

   A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s

   A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s OK.)

6. Teaching Math In 2007

   Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

Hat tip to Still Stacy via This Goes to 11

Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad calls President Bush...

Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad calls President Bush and tells him:

"George, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner."

Bush asks: "What did it say on the banner?"

Mahmud replies: "United States of Iran!"

Bush says: "You know, Mahmud, I'm happy you called, 'cause believe it or not, I also had a similar dream. I could see the whole of Tehran, and it was more beautiful than ever, and on each house flew an enormous banner."

"What did it say on the banner?" enquired Mahmud

Bush replies: "I don't know, I can't read Hebrew!"

Another Bad Day at Work

Retro Encabulator

hat tip to haha.nu

First Redneck on the Internet